I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Success! We fucked roommates!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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