What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said βstroke.β
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize
