people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize