He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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