I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
