You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
only if we run a train.
done.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
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He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
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I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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