No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
