You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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