Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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