Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
