If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
