She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
