Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
