You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
