There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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