oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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