He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
