Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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