she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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