Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
