theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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