How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
