called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
