the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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