my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Who did Billy Mays play for?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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