I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
