Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize