If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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