Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
