I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
