She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you would pick up someone in the library
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
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I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
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I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize