Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
