You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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