First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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