I'm drive I can fine osifer
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
