I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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