brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
