They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
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fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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