My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
