Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
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He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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