is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
