you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
