like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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