yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
