I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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