Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
