Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i will never coherently bang her
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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