I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
How's work?
Spinning.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
