Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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