i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
