Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
