I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize