i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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