i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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