i think my tv is drunk
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
