I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
